`Rawr.

cry; it's just pure jealousy perhaps.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

10:07 PM

~~are you that heartless?~~
can you tell me what's confusing you right now?
please?
because i cant stand the way you are actually treating yourself
what is the reason,
is it because her birthday is getting closer and closer?
causing you to act weirder and weirder?
can you answer me right now?
because im feeling so bad.
it's already 188days.
cant you even feel?
i feel so unwanted right now.
i cant bear to inflict on myself.
so i just turned on the water, and sook myself.
in hot water, in cold water and in hot and cold and hot...
and this seriously did help although my heart is still aching.
and that's how you actually said goodbye.
and did you ever turn around and took a glance at me?
because i teared the moment you left me.
i went up that bus alone, it's the new pub bus.
it's pretty.
for the whole bloody journey,
i was on the verge of tears.
my nose was red my eyes are swelling.
but once i got down the bus,
my tears didnt listen to me anymore.
it just flows down like nobody's business.
if i stop you from going that night,
would you stop? would you even stay by my side.
im really lost, i duno what you exactly want.
hot and cold and hot and cold.
this is what you want me to feel is it.
so perhaps this explains why im bathing in hot and cold water too.
i want to be sick, i want to be hospitalised.
because i duno how to face you anymore.
or is it i cant face you anymore?
i want to give up now,
can i?
would i ever regret it?
because it's when i want to love you
but you dun give me a chance to.

love. 我会试着忘记你.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

9:59 PM

went jasmine's house to practice erhu today...
aargh, my hand got blister le...
pain!!!walk around j8...and went home...
while waiting for my sis,
i saw a couple going to break up right infront of my eyes.
with the girl crying and wanting to reconcile their relationship.
but the guy with just an emotionless face.

can we conclude now?
guys are emotionless freaks?
can we?or should i just say part of it?
because for almost all the guys that i had known.
they are all EMOTIONLESS.
i love you, but would you even cherish it?
do you know how much courage i took,
just to get a step closer to you by just messaging you?
do you know each time i stared at an unsend message,
wishing and hoping that i can press a send button,
just to know what you are doing.
letting you know im actually really sad.
or rather happy,
i wna share my feelings with you.
but would you even care to bother?
would you? would you?
i dont think you would even care about it.
guys are nothing but troubles?
perhaps. maybe?
are you someone who cant express himself?
or you just dun want to express yourself?
it's really hurting.

but would you ever understand?

now?

i dont want you.

bcos i need you.

i want you for my birthday present.

can it be fulfilled?

因为你,我在也无法接受别人给我的爱

hmms.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

1:25 AM

i've been thinking about it.
till when can we not act as if we duno each other and talk?
cause it's really hurting.
i wna talk to you but you just dont seem to listen.
i want to love you but you dont seem to appreciate.
so what can i do?
can you please tell me?
cause it's driving me crazy.
i cant believe it.
cause im madly in love with you.
love me too okayys?
be true to your feelings.
if you love me too, tell me.
dont hold me on supense.
dont make me feel unwanted.
because i really love you and i cant live without you.
let's not wait till that day.
it's too long.
love me. please.

24 march

Saturday, March 24, 2007

11:51 PM

am i silly?
am i suppose to wait for you?
am i still not obvious enough?
because it's raining right now.
and im crying like it too.
my fingers and toes are freezing.
im cold.
but when i suddenly thought of the warmth you gave me before,
i felt better.
but, now, i dont know whether do i still have a place to go to when im sad.
i dun know whether can you still be someone i can confide in.
i dun know, the warmth that you gave me still applies.
the process of unrequited love is so tiring.
it's so painful...
it's when im seeing you smiling to other girls,
talking to them nicely, i often wondered,
are we like that in other people's eyes?
im tired of this, because i'd been waiting for you 181 days.
and you still didnt cared.
i want to give it up, but i just couldnt.
because whenever i thought i had forgotten you,
im always wrong,
when ever my phone beep or rang,
how i wish it was you...
but it's always not...
so am i just plain stupid?
to had fall for you.
im on the bus today,
when everything just flood my mind.
the times we had the memories we shared.
but i just knew, it would not turn out like how i want it to be.
im yearning for your warmth.
craving for your love.

it's already 24th march...
so when are we going to watch mr bean?
yupp,
perhaps i have to blog just to communicate with you now.

am i suppose to be happy or sad?

11:35 PM

can we not talk about camp?
cause i didnt go and it dont feel nice
hearing what you guys had gone through during the camp,
makes me really feel jealous,
it's because when you guys are playing so hard,
im actually praying so hard.
looking at that incense burn...
didnt sleep for three days.
now with even more heavy eyebags and dark eyerings.
having flu and cough just made my day worst

had co today...
went out shopshop with anna after that...
and now? im actually quarrelling with my bro
i cant believe it... i really cant
cause im actually tearing for him
when i noe he isnt worth my tears.

16 march:)

Friday, March 16, 2007

5:39 PM

i noe you will read my post.
so tagg kaes???
i dont care if you have to press the refresh button on my tagboard.
so just tag!!!
you noe who you are...

so im out with ___________
hees, guess it yourself then...
hees, he is behind my baby eeyore.
photo taken while we were about to watch blood and chocolate
at gv plaza singapura, aargh, the movie suck. but i still love it the most. :)
and the place is like wow, freezing!!

i think there was some sort of miscommunication;
cause i waited at the busstop near mrt
while you waited at the mrt station.
ohwells, luckily i walked there,
or we would both standing there looking like an idiot till night.

ohwells, first destination: orchard, Lido.
we are gna watch a movie yayys!!!
hees.
but we somehow started arguing...
over what show to watch, yupp
i wanted to watch : happily never after [[cartoon]]
you wanted to watch: the haunted school [[horror]]
and u knew i hated this kinda things.
but u still insisted.
so after a long long long time.
i RELUCTANTLY agreed.
because im really afraid.
poof, so its this two tickets that we paid 15 bucks for.
yepp i paid $7.50 just to scare myself, weird ehhs?

and after we bought the tickets, i went to the toilet.[[he followed]]

and guess what? in the toilet, right infront of the cubicle i was going in,

i saw yanjun!! good gracious. im like super duper suay.

she den kept insisting that im out with jordan... but hey, im not.

im out with YOU. and she couldnt believe it and she rush out.

i didnt even use the toilet and i rush out

didnt noe what this crazy lady was up to.

and so you saw weiyu in the toilet too...

oh man, we are like so SUAY?

and yanjun started spouting nonsense.

"wahh... black and gold"

and that's because im wearing a black top, jeans skirt and a gold and black bag

and he is wearing a black tee with gold design and a jeans

and i was like, we didnt plan it! , it's coincidental.

and worst still,

we are watching the same movie, the same time, the same day and the same place!!!

and we quickly rushed off...

we walked around den we finally sit down...

so i blamed him for watching that movie

and he blamed me for going to the toilet.

and then we said we are going to watch mr bean' movie together...

don't you dare forget. hahas. but it's 22 march...

so it's about time... we went to the snack bar,

bought combo b ---- $6.50

medium drink and medium popcorn.

he paid. [[thank you!!!]]

hees.

so we went in, praying so hard that we will not see them,

but, we still did.

praying didnt help at all :(

and the seats beside him is like empty la, when it's suppose to be full.

eerie. and so i watched the movie.

and when im scared i covered my eyes with my hands

and he pulled down my hands and ask me to watch.

ehh, mister, im scared can?

and he kept asking me whenever i have my fingers over my eyes, "eh, are you watching?"

and i am!!! i leave a small hole to see... hees.

you are so lucky that i didnt wack u:)

when the movie ends, we rushed out.

not wanting to see them again.

we didnt know where else we wanted to go...

so we walked towards far east plaza

on the way, i went to the toilet, in pacific plaza

heyy, i didnt go to the toilet just now ma...

hees. so he carried my bag..

when i went in, i suddenly remembered that i left my pouch outside.

so i went out and take it.

after that, yanjun called and ask us to meet her at cine, so we went there...

and on our there, there's this valet parking person pointed at his shirt

and said "scared"

cause there's a skull on his shirt.

and we laughed larhs...

so when we reached cine, i bought lemon barley from burger king.

and we saw his classmates.

suay-ness...

and then here comes yanjun after so long...

and there's my birthday present.

he carried it for me...

it's my baby eeyore. :)

then we went to vivo to watch another movie,

this time, it's happily never after.

but when we reach vivo...

aargh. it's not showing...

so we went back to dhoby ghaut.

luckily he isnt angry. **poof.

and we went plaza singapura.

we watched blood and chocolate. tadarr~

that's the tickets.

and then we were thinking about dinner,

actually he wanted long john silver

and i wanted mos burger.

he said that mos burger not filling

then i say long john not nice...

so he asked again, where to eat, i was like "long john"

"long john very nice"

then he was like, "dun wan la, later you go there only drink water and eat fries"

"go mos burger better"

then i said " dun wan la, mos burger not filling."

but he insisted, so we went in...

no vacancies! it's packed. sadsad.

so we went to long john...

same scenario too. sian.

so we went to yoshinoya...

yummy yummy.

although he never really like the thought of going there to eat.

saw that skull on his shirt?

anyway, when i finish eating, it's about time to go up

we went to buy drinks and cheesy sausage.

i smuggled my ice peach tea up too:)

we went in and started taking pictures as we were the first.

he took out my eeyore and hugg it.

and i said, "omg, my eeyore reek of you le, die, i must use chlorine to wash off le"

hahas. and obviously, i was kidding.

i aint that mean ok?

and the show started...

i didnt know it until he told me...

yupp, the ending sucks larhs...

hahas, you said my fingernails were long...

of course la, one week nvr go co nehs.

but i will cut de larhs... hahas.

so after the movie, we went home...

my parents were at the hospital

so he brought me back... thank you!!!

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

we waited bloody long for that stupid 74 bus.

so he pei me till the stairs,

i showed him where mr shoo stay....

and he said he's afraid... cause there very dark...

den i say, wa, i scared den u bring me up den u scared den i bring u down...

den like that we no need go home le larhs...

so we waved goodbye...

so i reached home at ten plus...

and he reached home at eleven plus...

sorry arhs :(

hees. it's kinda cute that u use your housephone to message me...

lalalalas~

happyday

i enjoyed it, hope u enjoyed it too.

yeahh!!!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

12:38 PM

it's my birthday:)

this are the people who wished me happy birthday...
in sequence:)
1. amanda yan
2. yirui
3. anna
4. jia ming
5. jocelyn
6. benjamin ((my cousin))
7. enzon
8. jordan
9. sean
10. leonard
11. wenting
12. jiahao
13. weitong
14. zhiwen
15. stephenie
16. benjamin
17. jamie
18. chao yuan
19. jun fang
20. huzaifah
21. xiaotong

22. lena

23. hong lin

24. esther

25. felicia

and err, if i forgot your name, sorry arhs.
i got poor memory hahas.

yays. i've got my new phone,
k800i loves-
hees.
and this is the first picture i took with it.

it's me and my second sister. hahas.

my best birthday ever...

because you wished me happy birthday.

birthday eve

Monday, March 12, 2007

7:36 PM

had maths remedial today,
super boring.

den suddenly jordan msg me,
ask if can pei him go out...
to me, if this message were to appear a few months ago,
i might be on cloud nine...
but it's so different now, i think somehow,
someone had already replaced him from my mind.

my birthday is creeping closer and closer.
am i suppose to feel happy or sad?
im getting a new phone soon.
i should be happy right?
but, why am i feeling like this is it because,
all my memories in the phone would be gone?
all my messages sent by u would be gone?

yupp, my birthday.
would u even wish me happy birthday?

im sneezing now, im having a headache.
perhaps im thinking too much.
thinking too much on the impossible.

hmms.

Friday, March 02, 2007

8:56 PM

bad day.
aarghs-
gna flung my amaths le larhs.
fainted.
i broke my testube and it somehow cut my leg.
i walked in the rain,
and im now having a headache.

cries-**
you were once my cruise,
i was so proud, but cruises only last for a few days
u lasted the same,
and now, from a cruise,
u dropped to a lifeboat, even the small sea urchin could burst my hopes.

feelings

8:30 PM

are you toying with my feelings?
why must you do this to me?
im feeling lost right now...
where were you when i needed u most?
why did you bring me so high up that day,
i could feel your warmth
i knew i was getting closer to you,
but why did you pulled me down so hard?
so hard, so hard.
i feel like im back to the start.
im bored of this feeling.
im sick of this game,

and ohya;
if ANYONE thinks that im the cause of the spotcheck?
i would like to tell you,
im not to blame for other classes except my class
okay, so sec 3d,e and i were suppose to have spotchecks yesterday
and what most people think is that,
because a hundred bucks,
causing mr prem to have a spot check on all this three classes.
but let me tell you guys this,
he check is all because somebody were caught for IMPROPER GROOMING.
in 3d and e okayy?
and mr prem only says that he is conducting a check on sec 3d and someone said that,
3e and 3i MIGHT have spotcheck and not definitely...
GET THE MESSAGE CLEAR.
mr prem told me that my case is most probably inside job.
i'm not to blame okay???
hey, hello, im like the victim here and you guys are here saying that im the cause for the spotchecks?
where are your heart???
arent you guys suppose to be consoling me?
instead of this??
and HAOMING,
i told you once CLEARLY
i guessed it myself,
no one tell me.
so PLEASE,
dont malign other people,
because in the end,
you dont get any good rewards or stuff, while i?
i got ranted for no reason okay?
and i dun like that feeling.
i hate it so much.

♡ TWITTERING ♡